Aside from the obvious ones like nuclear weapons, biological and chemical weapons, land mines, and genetically engineered crops and farmed fish, I'd have to say microwave popcorn. There's nothing like the foul, chemical stench that fills the office when someone makes their afternoon bag of "buttery" microwave popcorn.

Speaking of microwave popcorn, let's eliminate the microwave oven entirely while we're at it, along with "reality" shows and porn-star clothing for kindergarten-age girls. Oh, and SUVs (or at least the SUV as an appropriate vehicle for suburban and urban environments).

Tags: writer's block
location: home
mood: silly

O, effluvia
Befouling my bathroom air.
Waste pump: waste of space

Tags: writer's block
mood: annoyed

The Ice Storm of '98 was an epic example of a major power outage. All of New England and some of the Central Atlantic states were affected, but Maine got hit the worst. Literally the whole state was without power for a week. All 16 counties were declared federal disaster areas. The University of Maine started its spring semester late.

I lived in Rockland at the time, in one of the very few places where the power wasn't out. Because the rest of my family lived in Belfast and Swanville (a tiny town just north of Belfast) and was without power, I got to be the central communication point with the family. I was in regular e-mail contact with my aunt in New York, and others. My mother got her electricity back after a couple of days, for which I was extremely grateful because she has electric heat in her apartment and no backup.

Although we had power in Rockland, it was practically impossible to even walk because of the thick ice covering the roads and sidewalks.

The amazing thing was that the Ice Storm of '98 proved the true spirit of cooperation in the face of disaster. Neighbors checked on their neighbors, three of the major radio stations cancelled all of their syndicated programming and devoted all their air time to reporting on the ice storm, conveying messages from people who had no phone service, etc.

Dudes with snowmobiles and tire chains on their trucks went and delivered life-saving medical supplies to homebound disabled people--and even got them to hospitals when needed.

People with wood heat invited their neighbors to stay with them until power was restored. They brought hot food to people who needed it.

The Game Loft in Belfast, one of the first places to have its power restored because it's on the same circuit as Waldo County General Hospital, had people coming in to take showers, cook food, and play non-electronic games while they waited out the storm.

My brother, in Swanville, was without power for more than two weeks--his place is literally at the very end of the line. But he had wood heat and oil lamps, so he stayed warm, cooked his food, and read and played music a lot.

Electric utility crews poured into Maine (and the rest of New England) from all over the country. They were our heroes. I remember, once we were finally able to drive safely, seeing a power crew working on the lines and cheering and applauding them as we drove by. People brought the power crews hot coffee and snacks. It was fricking incredible.

This is footage from Channel 8 News of the first of the power crews rolling into Maine:

location: home
mood: impressed

... a Venn diagram showing quality of literature and Twilight:

mood: amused

I admit it. To my shame, I've become quite entranced by the "reality" show So You Think You Can Dance.

Why?

There's not a whole lot of dance culture in Maine. There aren't many opportunities to see any kind of dance performances other than kids' ballet classes performing The Nutcracker at Christmas time. And if you're interested in any kind of dance other than contra dances and line dancing, you might as well forget it.

By watching this show, I get to see excellent dancers doing all sorts of routines from ballroom to Broadway to experimental/contemporary to hip-hop and beyond. It's a rare treat here in East Bumfuck, Maine, and if I have to get my dance fix on TV, that's what I'll do.

But, of course, in any "reality" show involving judges, there has to be one super-obnoxious ass-monkey of a judge who you just wish would STFU and DIAF. In the case of So You Think You Can Dance, that judge is Mary Murphy. She literally screams her praises at every couple. Even the other judges can't stand her. In the midst of one of her scream-fests I saw Nigel Lythgoe *facepalm*ing, trying to get rid of what must have been a killer headache from having Mary's inane comments delivered at a 140-decibel screech, literally two feet from his left ear.

So here's the message I have for Mary Murphy, delivered in exactly the way she delivers her comments:

I'd like to rip your vocal cords out with a rusty corn fork, YES I WOULD!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! 111eleventyone!!

mood: pissed off

KITTENS!!!!!!





Of course, baby goats are a pretty close second:

This kid is about a day old. And no, he's not dead; he's having a nap after a big feed.

mood: dorky

On #IranElection...very important announcement from @bentonfraser ALERT: Do NOT RT proxies: DM them to @iran09 @stopahmadi @lotfan @austinheap or e-mail to twitter.iran09@gmail #iranelection #

To follow up on this from @Change_in_Iran: I know all of you are trying to help but please don't post any proxy/tunnels here. we're being watched. use direct messages instaed.

mood: hopeful

The song "La Cucaracha" sounds much better in Spanish than in English. And the translation into English has some mild amusement value, too:

Spanish:
La cucaracha, la cucaracha,
ya no puede caminar
porque no tiene, porque le falta
marihuana que fumar.

English:
The cockroach, the cockroach,
can't walk anymore
because it doesn't have, because it's lacking
marijuana to smoke.

By the way, I learned this translation in a high school Spanish class. What does this say about my home town, I wonder ...

The Russian phrase Боже мои (bozhe moi), which means "My god!" is pretty awesome. But the great thing about this relatively mild cuss is that it sounds a lot worse than it is. That's the beauty of spoken Russian. :-)

My French friend introduced me to bite couille, which he roughly translated as "cock-balls," but from a Google search (which seemed to lead mostly to sites featuring porn videos ... eep!) probably means something closer to "bite my dick."

Tags: writer's block
location: home
mood: geeky

The moose was killed, my car was totaled, and I walked away with a bruise on my chest from the seat belt--and 400 pounds of moose meat. I actually drove the car home. To be fair, home was only about two miles from the site of the collision, on a rural road with virtually no traffic.

If the moose hadn't been young (and weighed in at only around 800 pounds instead of full adult weight of 1,200 pounds or more) and that Jetta hadn't been built like a tank, this story would not have had nearly as happy an ending.

This happened in September of 2006.

Tags: writer's block
mood: impressed

I know John Lennon's "Working Class Hero" by heart. I sang it as a solo in a rock musical about 10 years ago and I've never forgotten the lyrics.

I actually know quite a few songs by heart because I love to sing and when I like a song I learn the lyrics from top to bottom. When I was a teenager I used to spend hours rewinding my cassette tapes, listening to lyrics, and writing them down. Now I can use the Internet to find the lyrics (and correct them when they're wrong, grin).

Let's see ... some other songs I know by heart: "In Power We Entrust the Love Advocated" by Dead Can Dance; "This Corrosion" by the Sisters of Mercy; "American Tune" by Paul Simon; "Saucy Sailor," "Blackleg Miner," "The Weaver and the Factory Maid," and "The Lowlands of Holland" as sung by Steeleye Span; "Pastures of Plenty" as sung by Solas; "Subterranean Homesick Blues" by Bob Dylan; "If You Could Only See (The Way She Loves Me)" by Tonic; and, of course, an insane number of Christmas carols from years of singing them with my family and in high school chorus and going through the community with caroling groups.

Tags: writer's block
mood: nostalgic